Breaking the Chain of Emotional Pain. For years I told myself that my life, my relationships, and all the circumstances surrounding them were the way they were because I believed life was meant to be a struggle – and there was nothing I could do to change that.
Fast forward twenty years and I say today with absolute conviction that I love my life and my relationships (both personal and professional). How can that be? I broke, what I call the ‘Chain of Pain.’
The ‘Chain of Pain‘ is part of our inheritance. It is the root cause of all dysfunctional behavior in our society. It is why people are unhappy, apathetic, anxious, stressed, angry, impatient, belligerent, depressed and in some extreme cases downright nasty.
Who you are; more likely who you think you are, is the sum total of the chain of pain you are connected to. Your connection to the chain of pain began with your family of origin: your parents, grandparents, siblings and adult authority figures prominent in your childhood. These represent all the so-called experts who claimed to do and know what was best for you.
Many of these adults in our childhood truly loved us and cared about our well-being. They wanted us to grow-up and become happy, grounded adults in happy, grounded careers and relationships. They wanted us to have a wonderful life!
For many of us in today’s society the notion of having a wonderful life with nurturing, harmonious relationships somehow fell by the wayside somewhere on the journey. The good news is that it is never and I repeat, never too late to have a wonderful life.
If you are struggling, do not despair! Don’t give up on your life or your relationships. As long as you can conceive in your mind a life or a relationship that is different than the one you are currently experiencing, then I say: you can do it!
The Chain of Pain is why you are currently suffering. In my Life Coaching practice, when I refer to suffering, I am speaking specifically about suffering caused by emotional pain.
Here is how your chain of pain came into being. As a child, you were abused either physically, emotionally or both. Or, it was less obvious, more subtle: what is termed emotional abandonment. This is when a child doesn’t receive the love he or she needs from one or both parents. In most cases, the parents are totally unconscious of how they are affecting their child.
Through Life Coaching, the origins of the Chain of Pain are relatively easy to trace. Everyone’s chain is a connection that is linked to the family tree. If you knew or know your grandparents, their behavior patterns and personalities, you can begin to understand why your parents did and said what they did and said.
The result of all this pain is that if it’s left unchecked and unresolved, it is passed on to future generations. This is called Generational Trauma or Legacy Trauma. Its’ adverse effects are wide and vast both to us as individuals, to the life we live, and the relationships we participate in.
Here’s the good news! Right now you can begin the process of breaking free from your chain of pain. The most important step you can take in the process of taking back your life and creating quality relationships that you desire and cherish is the very first step. In Life Coaching, this first step is called awareness.
Remember, there was a time in my life when I was totally oblivious to the idea of dysfunction in my life, let alone something called a chain of pain. When I became aware that this source of my struggle was controlling the quality of my life and my relationships, a light went on in my head. That light has shone brightly ever since. It was an ah-ha moment.
As I began to transform my life, I wanted to share what I learned with others. This is why I entered the field of Life Coaching and why Chris and I have dedicated ourselves to assisting anyone who is ready and willing to cut the links to their chain of pain. If you are not doing so yet, isn’t it time that you begin to live the life and have the relationships that you so richly deserve?
Our gift to you. Download your copy of How to Break The Chain of Emotional Pain here: http://www.possibilitycoaches.net/pain/
We can assist you to break free from what is holding you back so you can live a happy and authentic life. Contact us for an introductory life coaching session.
Jon Satin and Chris Pattay – The Possibility Coaches™
©Possibility Coaches, LLC
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Great article, I love your concept of the “chain of pain” – that really resonates with me! Also admire what you are doing with your business, very inspiring! I also call myself a possibility coach it and looks like we are doing similar work.
Hi Michelle,
Thanks for the positive feedback. Yes, we admire your work too. There are a lot of people out there that can benefit from all of our guidance, direction and assistance!
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